Okay, posts have been a bit sporadic lately and it’s not going to get any better. I’m taking at least the next month off to finish some writing projects prior to a publication blitz. I’ll also be blocking access to many of the more recent poems currently viewable on My Origami Tongue.
Actually, thinking about it now, I might end up discontinuing this blog all together. As my interest in honing my fiction and poetry skills has increased, I’ve become less and less interested in writing on current affairs. As well, my passion for putting my opinions out there has waned drastically in the wake of my Asperger’s diagnosis last year. I find it harder and harder to be prescriptive now that I know just how unrepresentative my point of view is.
I’ve also had a bit of a Road to Damascus moment regarding my writing. I feel sure I now know the use to which the Lord wants me to put my passion and talent.
Shweeeeeeeeet!
Ciao fer now,
j.s.kern
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Writing Sabbatical
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5 amen or rebuke here:
Can you still like your writing to this site so your adoring fans can keep up to date with where you're at?
Hi brave eagle,
I hadn't thought to do so, but I shall now. Thanks for the suggestion.
And thanks for all your encouraging comments.
jim
What happens when you get a diagnosis like that? Is it an excuse to carry on being whatever you feel it is that is negative about yourself? Or does it help you define yourself more tangably? Perhaps understand your limits? 'I find it harder and harder to be prescriptive now that I know just how unrepresentative my point of view is'......is that really true? I find myself agreeing with so much of what you write although I do also see the other side of things too. These questions are not a critisism just all the kind of thoughts that popped into my head. I'm thinking perhaps I need some sort of diagnosis too?
Well, Grumpy, not to put too fine a point on it, my diagnosis has made me reassess almost every facet of my personality in a new light. All my certainties and convictions have been rendered suspect. It is almost as large a psychic shift as my conversion to Christianity.
As to whether my finding it harder and harder to be prescriptive is true, yes it is. Having Asperger’s Syndrome means I’m autistic. Yes, I’m on the high-functioning end of the spectrum, but I’m still autistic—mentally handicapped, to use a very un-PC term—which means the world I perceive is not the world everyone else perceives (the other 99.3% of the population who are neurotypical). For example, it is estimated that 75% of communication between people is non-verbal (body language, empathic understandings, etc) which is exactly the area of interaction that is inhibited in those with AS. There are far too many things going on in life that I simply can’t relate to, too many experiences normal human beings handle with ease that I am unable to process naturally, for me to feel comfortable telling others that my way is the right way—well, at least not without taking a raft of second thoughts and running everything past my wife a couple of times first. In short, I am no longer the reflexively opinionated, arrogant prick I once was.
I have seen philosophical doubt, and it is me.
Mind you, this is not a bad thing; it’s a blessing because it is humbling!
As to your other question about using AS as an excuse; well, primarily because I didn’t use it to “carry on being whatever [I felt] it is that is negative about [my]self”, my relationship with my wife has improved a hundredfold . We were in trouble because of my inability to provide the emotional support & feedback normal couples give one another—those warm, human intangibles [love?] that most people crave & need to stay sane—all the while arguing that the problems were all her fault. Once I saw that the error in perception was mine, that I was so wrong about so much (not everything; but a hell of a lot), it literally changed our marriage.
Damn! This short reply is turning into an episode of Coronation Street. I think I should wrap it up here. We Aspies are known to have explain-to-ya-mania and tend to keep going long after every listener’s eyes have rolled back into their heads and they’ve cursed themselves stupid for asking the question in the first place….
Right.
Hope that helps, Grumpy.
Cheers,
Jim
Wow! Truly liberating. Thanks that was very enlightening.
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